Spambots say Heatwolves is “truly provocative.”
if you take cabs in Shanghai, you’ve probably seen this new cartoon called “Hao Ayi.”
Hao Ayi means “Good Auntie.” You can politely address any middle-aged woman as an Ayi. Maids also go by this term. Like, “yo Auntie, I know you didn’t vaccum because I intentionally left the vaccum cleaner at a 45 degree angle with the north wall of my bedroom and that shit hasn’t moved one bit.”
Of course some Ayis are cool, but some are like the Chinese version of white trash. Some have mullets, and attack baozi (bread stuffed with veg/meat) with their mouths open on the subway while screaming on their cell phone.
Some Ayis are made of iron. I know this because I’ve collided with them when entering/exiting the train. These iron-exoskeltoned Ayis have a layer of extremely thick skin (usually three to four inches), but underneath is pure, bone-crushing iron.
At the store, they will always ask for a plastic bag – even for something like a Snickers bar.
Some Ayis have a party outside my apartment every morning. They’re having a party right now actually. And I’m ok with this because sometimes I come home and play records at like 3am. It’s an unspoken compromise.
They wear three or four layers of clothing, even in the summer, because they don’t want to get sick. When I go across the street in the spring sunshine to grab a Snickers* wearing shorts and a t-shirt, they say I’m crazy or I have special foreigner blood or something.
So I deal with Ayis constantly. I am surrounded by middle-age women who scream in Shanghainese dialect and i’m OK with that. Even when they ask me “so are you studying or working here?” literally every time we talk. I really don’t need a cartoon version.
Once, in the pre-Hao Ayi era, I took a cab to see Holy Ghost! play at a “members only” club that closed like a week later. Not because of Holy Ghost!, just a bad business model. Kind of like making a cartoon about iron-skeltoned middle-aged women.
Holy Ghost! just dropped a new album, and although five or six of the tracks already came out at least a year ago, it’s good. It’s almost time to bring “Hold On” back.
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Holy Ghost! – Hold My Breath
(sometimes I live on snickers and gatorade and you haven’t lived in China long enough if you think that’s strange)
