CASTLES, CAT SHIT COFFEE, BBQ

catfood

So my British roommate, who teachers high-level posh manners courses and sells the Queens clothing, 4,000GBP suits, and is actually trying to sell a 20 million pound castle to some rich Chinese people just woke up hungover as fuck and Chinese auntie just told me don’t leave lighters in the sun in the summer cause they’ll explode. Auntie shouted “what did you drink??” but roommate doesn’t speak Chinese. Auntie says her husband can drink so much Baijiu (50% alcohol Chinese white wine), and us foreigners all drink beer. She asked if I know another foreigner named “Kevin” who also drinks beer.

We all need coffee but no one in our neighborhood can grind these Ecuadorian beans except for the cat shit coffee shop down the block. Ok they’re not cats, they’re civets but I’ve never seen a civet and the Chinese translation is 猫屎咖啡 (cat shit coffee). So many new cat shit coffee shops in Shanghai opened in the last year; I’ve seen at least six. These places charge $50 a cup for cat shit coffee! Jesus, I need to think of some luxury products to sell here. Need to talk to posh manners roommate about this.

I’m off to a BBQ cookoff on the South Bund. Expect some live reporting over at http://weibo.com/heatwolves

Actress – Hubble

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(from Splazsh, easily one of my favorite LPs of the last five years)

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