SEVEN RACKS ON MA DOBERMAN SOFA // SANDWICHES

someone is going to buy these and put them in their home.

these are like $5,000 US +

this place also has a huge five-person Doberman sofa, as in both ends of the sofa are shaped like life-size Dobermans.

“yo girl, you gonna come watch a DVD on my Doberman sofa or what? this shit cost like seven racks.”

we can make sandwiches on my Doberman sofa girl.

Detroit Grand Pubahs – Sandwiches

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such a classic this one. happy friday ya’ll.

 

WENFENG AND HIS GANG OF BITCHES / COLLEGE AT YUYINTANG

Wenfeng is a pioneer in the hairdressing game. A boss, a don; something like Rick Ross x Mao. He has somehow amassed an army of above-average looking women and confusingly-not-gay men* to cut hair at extremely low prices (haircut with wash is like $2.50).

HOW does Wenfang do it? The answer – mind control.

Borrowing from Scientology, Manchurian Candidate brainwashing techniques, and CIA training manuals, Wenfang has perfected techniques to make his army of hairdressers cut, style, and color hair for low wages while wearing faux-navy uniforms.

Every morning between 9:30 – 10AM, a Wenfeng Team Leader (this position takes seven years to achieve, and candidates are carefully screened under the influence of truth serums) drills the other employees on Wenfeng Seven-Thoughts Theory, The Wenfeng Method, and The Consequences For Betraying Wenfeng.

I’ve only had my hair cut at Wenfeng once. A pretty girl washed my hair and rubbed my back, and a man in a sailor uniform did the cutting. I asked the girl where she was from, and she couldn’t remember. She then told me about the Wenfeng VIP Card and all the benefits it entailed. She seemed to have been reprogrammed with only this knowledge.

*here’s the thing…China is still a male-dominated society, and thus most skilled trades are still performed predominately by men. It’s like hairdressers fall into the same category as locksmiths or plumbers – a kind of 师傅, or master – and they’re mostly men. In America, let’s be fair, most male hairdressers are gay (excluding barbers, generally..i will draw a distinction). In China, they’re generally not – they’re just working dudes. But the weird bit is that many of these straight Chinese hairdressers look flaming – flamboyant trash-cat haircuts, tight shirts, sitting on each-others laps…these are extremely confusing cultural differences. Not that any of this matters, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

anyway, i still like to eat a carrot cake from my local yuppie bakery and watch Wenfang’s Gang of Bitches do their morning exercises.

There’s a really good italo disco dude playing at Yuyintang tonight – he’s called College, and he did some original compositions for the Drive soundtrack. He’s doing both a live music and live video set. Very 80s, but in a classy way. I’ll be down there.

Not sure who is promoting this event but I’d heard almost nothing about it until I read a feature with College on Shanghai247.

Here’s one of his tracks I was jamming way back in 2008. Show starts at 9PM, it’s 60RMB.

College –  The Energy Story

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electric wheelchair dog walk

not quite as eccentric as the woman with the pet pig, but unusual nonetheless. this dude rolls around my hood in his electric wheelchair while his dachshund tries to keep up.

at first i thought “damn, how cruel,” but the dog had an expression of pure joy, wagging his tail (longer than his legs) around in the February cold (read: really fucking cold. a cold that does actually sneak into your clothes. if you can imagine a cold microwave, that is shanghai in the pre-spring).

this is on fanyu lu, just east of dada.

probably been posted all over by now, but I’m loving some of the tracks on the John Talabot album – especially this one.

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John Talabot – So Will Be Now

 

 

new mixtape from the SUPER AYI CLEANING TEAM – LOVE U LONG TIME

cover art for "LOVE U LONG TIME" mixtape by Shanghai's SUPER AYI CLEANING TEAM

Here’s the reason for the lack of posts recently – I’ve been working on this mix right here with the homie DJ Caution and our Chinese auntie friends. We’re super proud of this one, and confident to say that no one has done anything quite like this before. It all started when we realized that the 1983  mid-tempo hip-hop track “World’s Famous” by Malcom McLaren, the same dude who did “Buffalo Gals,” sounds fucking ill slowed down to 88 beats per minute (bpm) from its original 107 bpm.

Then we went through about 200 more tracks trying to find ones that sounded just right when pitched way down. Lots of songs sounded like complete garbage, but some sounded amazing at slow speeds – sometimes even better than the original track. Italo disco, boogie, and mid-tempo hip hop worked best. These songs have heavy analogue synthesizer-bass that sounds warm and deep when pitched down to the extreme, unlike songs made with software plugins/emulators that sound awful under these conditions. If you slow down most modern “electro,” (the kind that people have in mind when they ask the DJ to play something “dirty”) you can hear the audio bits breaking apart like a spilled box of digital Cherrios. But not with the tracks on this mix.

“Built for rainy days and purple sunsets – the January 2012 Chinese New Year mix by Shanghai’s SUPER AYI CLEANING TEAM members DJ Caution and Heatwolves. A carefully selected bag of italo disco, house, and hip hop, slowed down 30% and cut with some dusty old VHS tapes from around the world. Slow, bass-heavy, smokey, and sexy.”

Tracklist after the jump – hope you enjoy! We’re doing mixes every month this year, this is only the beginning. Continue reading

… <3

Been a minute since the last update; been preparing to go back to the land of gold this Saturday.

First off, wanna thank everyone who came to Love Bang #12 last Saturday @Dada. Was by far our biggest night ever and it wouldn’t be possible without the great crowd who came out, so big up yourself. I remember looking up at midnight like “huh, not that many people here..” then ten minutes later it was so packed it took five minutes to get from the door to the dance floor, then dropping “All Nite” by Rustie.

And special thanks to ESHIN from Trouble Audio, who absolutely murdered it. Was the first time anyone played Drum & Bass at Love Bang and god damn…Brooklyn dem don’t play.

Looking forward to 2012, we got Love Bang #13 on Jan. 21st at Dada with DJ Caution, MC One Con, and myself, then Love Bang #14 Super Valentine’s Edition on Feb. 11th with special guest DjMrWhite plus other super-friends.

And for March, we got something extra special –  on the opening night of Split Works‘ JUE festival, we’re doing Love Bang @ The Shelter with special guest BICEP. Don’t get it confused, we love Dada and will continue doing Love Bang there, but we need a bigger venue for this one, and what’s better than The Shelter?

Bicep – Say You Wanna

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Lady Gaga – Alejandro (bicep Italo flex)

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sorry, no DLs on these. dem are my friends and they quit their dayjobs to do this full-time, so dem gots to get paid.

check out their site feelmybicep.com – i can’t recommend it enough. hundreds of entries and songs, from rare italo-disco and chicago-house to horror soundtracks and hip hop.

slow it down

Picture is taken from the roof of 1933, in Hongkou district. They had a “flea market” that wasn’t really. Just a room full of pretty girls selling mass-produced goods from Qipu Lu and maybe three booths with actual handicrafts (cell phone leashes…). No records, tapes, or even CDs to be found. Still, Hongkou is one of my favorite districts in Shanghai so no real complaints.

Jump right into the music – some cats in Shanghai are bringing the tempo down to about 112BPM for that moombahton, but does you fucks with 84??? I DJed a brunch the other day (folks got crunk) and dropped this with much success.

Eddie C – We Need We

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italo post

big thanks to all who came to dada on saturday. party went till 5:30AM with a classic freestyle sesh. that’s freestyle as in Debbie Deb, not busting rhymes off the dome. Ceezy killed it too.

only bummer was one really weird and crunk bro who had a row with almost everyone, and apparently got put in a headlock and beat with a purse, but for some reason kept buying me shots and saying “you’re the only one who gets it man. these people…you’re a good guy.” he also rolled in with a near-empty bottle of Crown Royal, which I’ve never seen in China.

saw this “man massage” tag on Huashan Lu, thought of italo disco. here’s a few gems.

this first song is about a girl celebrating her lack of a relationship and being on the prowl for d.

Knight Action – Single Girl

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and this one – a white girl going to Japan, finding love, and being touched.

Lori & The Chameleons – Touch

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youth

Young Edits // Youth, from Brisbane. been listening to this dude’s edits for a few years now. really, really solid. always adds something new.

he’s just dropped this on Kojak Giant Sounds. would cop it quick if you’re feeling it – this label always sells out.

The version on the vinyl sounds remastered; bigger drums.

no DLs on the track.

Smile At You (Youth’s Going Home Dub) – Stevie Nicks

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