I need dat love//music by The Dream

Was walking around Anfu Lu a few weeks ago when I spotted this gem. Got reposted a lot on Weibo and Facebook.

Not sure if this is a joke or an angry ex-girlfriend getting revenge on her cheating 老外 husband. Either way it’s amazing.

Here’s some love-making music from one of my favorites – The Dream. Seriously if you don’t have “Love Hate” go get it today. One of the best R&B albums of all times. He is the ghetto Prince.

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The Dream – Love Songs

 

(on chinese weddings)

Attended my first Chinese wedding on Sunday night. Haven’t been to an American wedding since like 1991 but i know it’s different.

This Shanghai wedding happened in a restaurant instead of a church, at 6PM on a cold Sunday on The 5th floor of a skyscraper in the Ba Bai Ban section of Pudong (east side of the river/modern buildings, many without residents/ghost town at night/where i work during the day). I really needed to use the bathroom when I got there and the first floor had a confusing sign that said “to lift” in a really tight font.

Smoking is allowed and somewhat encouraged at Chinese weddings. In fact, two expensive packs of cigs (changhua, limited hong shuang xi) waited at every table, next to wine, beer, sprite, and cold appetizers. In many ways, a wedding is as much about the union of two souls as it is showing/giving face. More expensive cigs and better food for wedding guests = more face.

Aside from the sound problems inherent in almost any event in China involving microphones (talent show, wedding, commencement), the show ran smoothly. Started at 6:00PM and the bride and groom walked down the aisle at 6:15.

Before the marriage ceremony, the video-controller lady streamed a 5-minute cartoon about wedding etiquette from Youku, the Chinese YouTube. The animation starred the Kung Fu Panda characters, who told us to shut up when important stuff was happening, clap after it happens, eat in a civilized manner, etc.

After this, the bride and groom came down the asile. I did not recognize the bride, though she’s my colleague and I see her every day, It’s amazing what makeup can do, and wayyyy better to see a girl who never really wears makeup suddenly put some on than the other way around.

Instead of a priest, their souls were bound together by..some dude who didn’t know how to hold a microphone. At some points in his speech, mothers covered the still-developing ears of their children; not for content, just sheer volume due to unfortunate speaker placement/EQing/aforementioned mic-holding struggles.

I was the only white person there, and thank god these people were super respectful and didn’t ask me to do any dumb white people shit. Nor did they try to get me drunk on baijiu, or make me smoke cigs..no drunk older men tried to convince me to go to the hooker spot after. I did join in one group game on stage, gave hi-fives to the youth, gave a short speech but used some English because I was slightly drunk and I always confuse the Chinese word for wedding (hun li) with the word for divorce (li hun), and won a Haibao-blue neck pillow, a gift I’ll really appreciate on my 14-hour flight to chicago today. Good fucking call on giving gifts that guests will actually use but likely wouldn’t have bought on their own.

As for gifts TO the newlyweds, it’s straight cash, in a hongbao (red envelope). That’s the same red envelope that corrupt officials get their bribes in. Fuck a coffeemaker, sheets, etc. No trips to bed bath & beyond, just a quick stop at the ATM.

I didn’t know how much to give, so I asked the lao bai xing (common folk) who responded anywhere bwtwem RMB200 – 1000. I decided RMB300 was reasonable. Hopefully this covers the cost of the food, which was BOMB.

Unlimited lobster and steak, crabs of all sizes, hongshao yarou (something like thick cuts of soft duck bacon), giant fish, cold chicken, vegetables, tripe..didn’t touch the cake though. Looked like shaving cream.

No rice.

Chinese people don’t eat rice at banquets. It’s too filling. Gotta save room for all that tripe. Chinese in China don’t eat fortune cookies either – ever. That blew my mind when I found out.

Here’s a song about weddings by someone I’ve been listening to constantly lately – The Dream

Terrius Nash – Wedding Crasher

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post-trap rainy day jams.

thanks to everyone who came to Shelter last night come correct. four-turntable action by Shige and Caution, raps by MC One Consciousness, and “Milkshake” pitched down 12% and some rare slow jams by myself at the end, followed by a classic ji gong bao (chicken hot pot) sesh.

note to restaurants who plan on giving away free alcohol and advertising this in SmartShanghai – get more than one bartender. wtf. some people prlly came from Hangzhou for that free Sangria last night in Xintiandi.

hadn’t been to Xintiandi in at least a year. totally forgot about that side of Shanghai. meh. did meet a grave/tomb dealer though. best “so what are you doing in Shanghai?” convo I’ve had in years. dude took my “i sell dreams” response way too seriously though.

man wtf is going on in America right now…jesus.

it’s raining but fuck it, i’m going to the studio to finish this track. until then, peep these:

Aaliyah – Are You That Somebody

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Gemmy – Too Far

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No DL on the Gemmy track. Just came out. Also really feeling this mixtape – it’s a slow builder, and dark as fuck. If you like Salem, Three 6 Mafia, or anything on Tri Angle Records, you’ll love this.

GRIM – FADED RE-EDIT MIXTAPE CH. 1 by voodoo village

Some young kids from Memphis put this together, here’s the tracklist:

1. Diamond Bass – Nomada/All That
2. Three Six Mafia – South Memphis Bitch
3. Clicks & Whistles – Hello
4. Lil Daggers – Pair of Lives
5. Lil Wayne – I Feel Like Dying
6. Project Pat – I Keep That
7. Courtesy – Life, Man
8. Wiz Khalifa – On My Level
9. Com Truise – Colorvision
10. Koreless – Made In
11. Cities Aviv – Sixsixsixes
12. Gorillaz – Empire Ants

They call this “post-trap.” Awesome.

my boo

Does anyone know the etymology of the term-of-endearment “boo” ?

All I’ve come up with in the Apple dictionary is the British phrase “wouldn’t say boo to a goose” to describe a shy person.

And a really strange example in the verb section, “I practically got booed off the stage for talking about cyperpunk.”

In this classic 90s jam, boo just means lover, or girlfriend/boyfriend, as in “you’re my boo.” Pretty sure girls are usually boos.

Balam Acab, who’s about to release an LP on my favorite new label, Tri Angle, just remixed this track, slowing it down into something some people might call witch house. Not as ill as the original, but still good.

Ghost Town DJs – My Boo (BALAM ACAB Remix)

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Actually I’m bumping the original right now and my Ayi is really digging it.

New Jack Swing mixtape by DJ Caution!

To get you in the mood for Love Bang this Saturday, a special New Jack Swing mixtape by DJ Caution. “Glam Rock for the Ethnic Community.”

He’s playing this Saturday @ Dada from 10:00 – midnight. Heavy warm-up jams, don’t sleep!

The New Jack Mixtape Vol. 1 (KILLIONAIRE DJS LOS ANGELES)

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Tracklist:

1. Soul II Soul – “Back To Life (However You Want Me)”
2. Tara Kemp – “Hold You Tight”
3. Troy Taylor – “The Way You Move”
4. Skyy – Love All The Way”
5. Bobby Brown – “Every Little Step”
6. Pebbles – “Giving You The Benefit”
7. Keith Sweat – “I Want Her”
8. Bell Biv DeVoe – “Do Me!”
9. Joe Public – “Live And Learn”
10. Portrait – “Here We Go Again”
11. Karyn White – “The Way You Love Me”
12. Jody Watley – “Real Love”
13. Bobby Brown – “She Ain’t Worth It”
14. Guy – “Groove Me”
15. Bell Biv DeVoe – “B.B.D (I Thought It Was Me)”
16. Teddy Riley w/Tammy Lucas – “Is It Good To You”
17. Hi-Five – “I Like The Way (The Kissing Game)”
18. Color Me Badd – “I Wanna Sex You Up”

DJ Caution – The New Jack Mixtape Vol. 1 (KILLIONAIRE DJS LOS ANGELES) by HeatWolves

wanna know about yo body..

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Saturday morning, trying to get some fruit but all the fruit stores done closed. Turned into real estate office. Just like the Hunan restaurant next to the crib where we used to eat before shows at Logo.

No idea what this fruit is. It’s blue and black. Looks like the character Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. Tastes like a peach, but I’ve been told it’s definitely not in the peach family.

Went to Dada last night and saw Santo Chino play. He killed it. Dude is now on my short list of DJs in Shanghai I like.

Blaise Deville dropped this classic track the other night at ROM. I knew the original by Midnight Star but hadn’t heard the version by Kurious. Both tracks, so solid.

Not sure why Midnight Star have nine people on their album cover cause it just sounds like an 808 with some melody laid over it.

Midnight Star – Curious

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Kurious – I’m Kurious

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Friday Jams

The week flew by. If you like song…

“Yeah…lemme get a fruit cocktail, I ain’t too hungry…”

Prince – The Ballad of Dorthy Parker

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Fantastic Mr. Fox – Over

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Slugabed – Rockin U

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