arcades that r hood as fuck

Went to eat some fine Xi Bei food last night. What you know bout oat noodles, homemade tofu, and lamb everything? SmartShanghai did a full writeup on the place here.

As my friend described it, it’s on the 5th floor of a “really ghetto shopping mall.” No exaggeration there. And what would a run-down shopping mall be without a really hood arcade?

Note the shanzhai name “Sigga” instead of “Sega.” This should tell you what you’re in for.

Only about 70% of the games work. Unfortunately, wack-a-mole does not. Nor does this dog-walking game.

The air hockey table only produces small, random bursts of air. This makes the puck leap off the table, causing potentially serious hand injuries. No joke, that shit hurts. The worker dude said “you need to pay attention or you’ll get hurt!’ like wtf this is air hockey not a chemistry lab.

The place was full of Chinese dudes in their 20s and 30s. Some of whom were clearly there for days on end. Note the compulsive Double Happiness cigarette smoking and lack of blinking in these subjects. I saw one dude go get tokens – RMB1,000 worth! That’s like $150…

Despite the hood-ness of this place, I’d go back. America has almost no arcades these days so we’re lucky that we can still play Street Fighter II, Time Crisis, and bizarre music games outside of our homes.

Zomby – U Are My Fantasy (Street Fighter II Theme Remix)

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Jam City – Aqua Box

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Jam City has been one of my favorite producers since his massive Night Slugs white label came out last year, and of course, “Magic Drops.” His Waterworx EP just came out on Night Slugs and you can cop it here – it’s really, really good.  He’s got a great all-vinyl podcast available for download over at disko404 as well.